6th March 2007 Weighing day

I wanted to thump Tweedledum today. She was making fun of Donald. He was - in truth - being very noisey, very woefully noisy. Moaning loudly and long. She kept shushing him initially and then asking him "wit's wrang ye auld moan? Eh, wit's wrang?". Then she started to imitate him moaning a few inches from his face "There's nufin wrang wi ye, yea just like the attention dint ye?". I wondered why anyone would do anything to get themselves attention from her. Dad eventually managed to get the wrods he was scrabbling for "How can she ask what's wrong. He's in here". I knew what he meant. It's more surprising that there aren't more residents moaning and moaning.

She later noticed I was in visiting and confided that she was having a bad day. "One of them battered my heid against the sink the morn, but wit can ye dae - it's all part and parcel isn't it". While I was still wondering if it was a resident she was talking about or one of her own family she clarified "Wit can ye dae - it's all part and parcel of the job that's what I ayeways say" and just to be sure "Made sure he git his breakfast last right enough though - I'm wicked though eh - ye huv tae though, ye'd go as daft as they are in this place if ye didnae".

Her day worsened when she was told to help Dilys bath and toilet - "We all hate that job. She's stinking though, by the way. Really stinking. I ken it's no her fault or anythin' but I spray her wi the air freshener afore I go anyway near her".

Then Dad surprised me by saying "I was trying to say something 4 years ago, no 4 days ago, no that's not it, that's not it, 4 weeks ago - yes definitely 4 weeks ago. I was telling you something about the exit. I've been trying every day to get the words to talk more". It's 4 weeks ago he talked about suicide. So he did know what he was saying. And he did remember saying it. And he's spent 4 weeks of me visiting trying to get his words in enough order to be able to communicate again. I started to ask him more but the housekeeper switched on the hoover and his eyes flickered with resigned annoyance and then he feel asleep.