30th September 2007 - I'm not racist but.....

Remember when you were wee and playing tig or something similar you could shout 'keys' and that meant you were immune? "I'm not racist but..." "I'm not being cheeky but..." "No offense meant but...." even "Far be it from me to cast aspersions but " - as soon as you hear one of these verbal 'keys' you know that something racist, cheeky, offensive is in the offing or an aspersion is about to be flung.

Tweedle greeted me as I came in with a loud whisper "Thur's a new staff nurse. Canny miss her - she's anither paki - sorry - mind my french, I mean Asian. I'm no racist like but it's turning intae Little India here - or mibbes the Eurovision Song Contest wi all they Poles. I dinnae mind the Poles, at least they wurk, but oor Asian friend's are lazy fur one and I cannae understaun them fur anither. An' thur aw liars. Lie til thur black in the face - eh did ya hear me there - lie til thur black in the face! You couldn't make this up - whit am I like, I crack mesel up sometimes! But they ur though but, lazy , liars and cheats - see thur shops - the prices! Nae wunner they're aw sending money hame and got aw the flash cars and fancy schools." I wondered what I should say. I didn't agree with her but I smiled and rolled my eyes "Karen's a gem" I said and she agreed with "She's ok aye, she's like us though, you forget she's Asian half the time". Should I have said that I think she's wrong, that she is being racist? I suppose I should.

Just inside the day room I meet the new staff nurse. She comes over to talk to me about Dad but - fuck it - I can't understand what she says. I saw Tweedle mouth "See, tellt ye" as she passes.

Dad was sitting in a comfy chair in an arc of comfy chairs in the conservatory bit - where it really was like Little India because it was stifflingly hot. He was sitting beside Molly on one side and Cecily on the other. Molly was tapping her false teeth on the food infront of her and appeared bemused that they weren't eating it. Cecily was speaking to Dad - when I got closer I could hear her "You're a disgusting old man. You don't know who I am, you are disgusting. I'll be glad when you are dead you old bugger". She was pushing and poking him as he looked in bewilderment at her. Directly across from them one of the carers - Agnes - was reading the Daily Record. When Dad saw me he tried to get up. Cecily shrieked "Get away you disgusting old man!" to which Agnes responded without looking up "Leave him be Cecily, he's a harmless old man". I helped Dad to his feet and spoke for the first time saying to him "Come and we'll get away from Cecily and sit up at table. I'll make you a cuppa". Agnes looked up at the sound of my voice "Ohh, it's you Jeanette, I've jist sat down, you wouldn't believe the morning I've hud. Dinnae mind Cecily, she's harmless." Harmless huh? So I didn't just see her poking Dad, and Tweedle doesn't regularly complain she gets beaten black and blue by her? From somewhere I develop a bit of backbone "I'd rather she didn't poke my Dad though, all the same" and she says "Of course, but that's a one aff tha'. She's usually ok and yer Da's no often wi' her". I don't know for sure that Dad doesn't harass the hell out of the other residents but I'm sure all it would take to avoid residents being bullied, badgered and harangued is for the staff to be more numerous, more vigilant and more aware of the need for residents to be treated with dignity and respect. And this home is a good one.