21st June 2007 - The longest day

I spoke to Rab today. He's lovely. His wife is a resident and he comes in every day to see her. He says hello to everyone, he remembers everyone's names, he takes time to speak to everyone he see's on his path from the door to his wife. He's amazing. He obvious dotes on his wife, she has terminal cancer and her memory has been affected by the disease and treatment. Normally he'll just ask how I am, how Dad is or chat to Ellie, but today Dad was sleeping and his wife was seeing a social worker in her room, so he sat beside me and asked how I was. For some reason I didn't come back with fine, I looked at Dad, my eyes filled and I said that I was ok. He understood. He asked what I thought of the home and I gave him a few of my gripes.

When I asked how he was he told me how he was cheery in the home, but depressed in his home, he keeps it together for his wife, but he's only just hanging on by a thread sometimes. The latest treatment for her cancer took a lot out of her and she's in a lot of pain, his family aren't coping well with losing her and he's finding it difficult to support them. And then this week he found out he's got cancer too. But there's no point moaning is there, just shut up and get on with it.

Fucking hell. Moan. Moan a lot. I'll listen, I'll understand. Moan all you like Rab. You've earned a moan.

Dad woke, Rab asked how he was, squeezed and patted his knee and told him he was 'no a bad old soul' and Dad smiled, pleased at the contact. He winked and waved as he walked away to see is his wife was finished "It's the longest day today Jeannette, tomorrow will be shorter". It is the longest day.