14th January 2007 - I always knew she'd come to no good

Dad met me today with the news that "Jeannette's body has been found in a wheelie bin - murdered - been there for up to 16 weeks - a victim of the Suffolk ripper. Always knew she'd come to no good but didn't know she was on the game. Not surprised though."

Now, I know his thoughts are not his own and I know he's not able to express himself but I'd have hoped that he'd be at least a little sad at my death. I would also like to have thought that he didn't think I would end up on the game or that I'd come to no good.

Anyway, I convince him it is me, and that I'm not dead. He even appears to be convinced that I'm not a prostitute, so that's something. I suppose I'm too old to become a prostitute now even if I wanted to. If I ever hit rock bottom I'll have to think of another way out because I don't think even the most desperate would pay for it from me any more.

He wasn't relieved I wasn't dead, didn't hug me and say praise God for me being alive. But he wasn't disappointed, so that's something I suppose.