11th December 2006 - Rabbie Burns

I found out Rab's second name today. I'd always thought of his as Scary Rab because of his arm outstretched drooling droopy eyed walk. Or sometimes Question Mark because of the incredible curve in his spine. Not very charitable I know but I need to do something while I'm in there and pulling out the latest Ian Rankin or a sudoko seems a bit rude.

Anyway, Rab's surname is Burns. Yes, that's right Rabbie Burns. Can you imagine growing up, going through school being called Rabbie Burns. It reminded me of a friend of mine whose father was called Douglas Douglas Douglas, first name, middle name and surname all Douglas. If that's not child abuse then I don't know what is.

I hadn't seen Rab around for a couple of weeks, but then he'd often disappear for a day or two because he was so unruly that the staff would keep him in his room. But I asked today where he was and Susie told me he'd gone across the bridge. As I was wondering if this was a euphemism she clarified by saying "We couldnae cope with him nae mair. He kept gieing me burns on my airms - funny that 'cos he was called Rab Burns - I say funny that 'cos he was called Rab Burns" and cackled at her own wit. "Rab Burns?" I ask incredulously "Poor man I wonder if he was any relation?" "He's got a sister, but she's no able to visit him in Fife" she replies. I can't be arsed trying to explain what I meant and ask if he couldn't have been sedated or medicated in some way to control his lashing out. Apparently if you "drug them up they cannae eat and that just makes mair work for us". So that's it, if you get too much for the staff they ship you off to a locked ward, regardless of where your family are. Lately even Gwen has been hitting out. Her husband finds this particuarly difficult because she'd always been so gentle, and you can tell looking at her that she has a gentle soul. I wonder if Dad will become violent, physically hit out rather than his verbal woundings.

In the day room Bertha is sitting in her chair two seats from L, and they are having a fight. Periodically L will get up and zimmer over to where Bertha is to try and thump her. She can't get too near because of the zimmer, and she can let go of it for long or she'll topple so she contents herself with kicking her and shouting that she'll "fuckin' murder ye the next time ye auld cunt". And Bertha will punch towards her and shout "leave me allow ye auld bugger!" Every now and then a staff member will take L back to her seat. The same seat, two seats away.
It's seems to me that if they moved one or other of them to the other end of the room it might be more effective but there you go. At least then there would be a good ten minutes by the time L got to Bertha to kick her.

The new lady Jinny is standing in the middle of the room, slightly rocking and holding her ears. I thought she was just upset by the ladies fighting until I look a bit closer and there's blood all over her hands. I shout for Susie who pulls her hands down from the sides of her head. In each hand is a creole earing. She's been slowly pulling them through her ear lobes.

I've had enough so I - unintentionally - wake Dad as I kiss him goodbye. "is that you off already then?" he asks. "I've been here for an hour Dad, you dropped off" I try and justify my escape. "Well if that's all the time you can be bothered to stay, I suppose that's fine". Mental Munch moment again as I silently scream and kiss him again saying "I stay longer tomorrow Dad, see you tomorrow".