16th February 2006 - The Hammer of the Scots

“Do you think you could do anything to sort out Edward Longshanks, The Hammer of the Scots” my Dad’s first words to me today. “He’s only playing at being good to us up here you know, he’s a cold bastard at heart”. Here again, for the umpteenth time, I’m unsure what the correct response should be. I plump for “I’m not sure he’d listen to me Dad” only to be met with a derisory “We’ll obviously not, don’t be ridiculous, but you could get your sister to talk to him”. Ah yes, yes I could.

“Yer in a old folks home” Lily is shouting “you daft old cunt. Yer Mammys been died 60 years, yer Da even longer an even when they were alive they never liked ye so there’s no point shoutin’ on them”. She’s talking to Bertha. Bertha does, very regularly, shout for her Mammy and Daddy and as she is to the untutored eye at least 100 herself, it seems unlikely she’s get a response from anyone other than Lily.